Update? Emotionally hungover!

Won’t lie. Things have been rather slow over here. Still, wanted to say “Hey, I’m kinda still alive!” Blogging is being a little hard on me as of late. Actually, I’ve had something to my shoulder and now it’s kinda on both. On top of that, I have something to my wrists as well and it hurts into my fingers when I write.

But, heh, you can’t stop me from writing! Hah! So I write, still.

Um, CoMa is on hold, maybe even a dropped project… Things happened. Life is full of those unplanned things.

Now, I wanted to talk about something that is… uh… I want to say dear to my heart but somehow I think this would be wrong. If you’ve read the title (no doubt you did) well this is it. This is something that’s happening more and more to me it would seem. Actually, emotional hangover can happen after long nights of drinking. But you can binge on a show, who said you can’t suffer from it’s effect? Emotional hangover, to me, is that state you’re in once you’ve just finished something that took a long time to finish and that you invested your mind and your emotions in it so bad that once it’s over, you life seems almost meaningless.

Think of your favorite show, of your favorite book or collection of books. Think of that amazing manga or webtoon, of that one great thing that you’re so emotionally invested in that you dreamed about it on multiple occasion.  Now that one thing is complete. It’s done. It won’t be updated anymore. You know there won’t be any follow up, no other entry, no updates.

I doubt everyone has such a strong reaction to that kind of thing but I do. Suddenly, around me everything is empty and meaningless. Nothing can compare. Nothing is good anymore. I end up stuck in this endless spiral of emotions that I struggle with.

Now, it’s got to the point that I know it’s going to happen. I know I’m going to be emotionally hungover and I freaking end up being hungover before I’m even finished with the thing I will be hungover over.

This is not only from show or other things. It can come from my own things. Like something that I’m writing and once I’m done, the world crumbles down on me. AND I LOVE IT. This might sound rather strange. Somehow, this is the best cursed feeling ever and I embrace it.

And it hit me so hard of late. I’ve been writing something that I called Noire. You might see some stuff about it later if I don’t get lazy and if my limbs leave me be. Turns out that I wrote this story for 3 whole days. I was sitting still so much that I actually hurt my butt! My boyfriend was worried about me and he even fed me. It was like a sickness. I was like a prisoner of that whole setting. I had to lay it down, even though I hurt, even though I don’t live anymore, even though I don’t eat enough. Nothing mattered more. Suddenly, everything was about this story and I lived solely to write it down. And when I was done, the emptiness settled down. Boy, what a journey that was. And I actually live for that. I hunger for those crazy moments where there’s nothing but me and my story. It could as well kill me, I’d die happy. (Is that wrong to say?)

But being hungover comes along with it. It creeps on me, waiting. And then, it leaps and presses it’s fangs around my neck. And I’m like “Not today!”. Actually being hungover like that turns out to be a good moment for me to collect myself and wash my emotions before I go on a new journey with new characters and a fresh story. The thing is that it can become really hard to detach yourself from the characters you love so much. But it’s needed when you want to improve it. You need to let it be, even if it hurts you. and then when you go back, you can fall in love with it all over again.

Now, enough about the rambles of a crazy shut in. It’s just, right now I’m so in it that I struggle to sleep. This is what I live for right now. So, have I been good? Yes, yes I have been. In a strange way and I wish to make it my job. Now more than anything.

Oh, by the way. I love my sweet sweet Netflix. And now that stuff came out… At first, I thought this gem would be really bad. It’s called Love Rain. Go check it out, I’m dying for this right now. (Might make a quick review on it.)

Well, that’s it. I’ll see you again…

Oh, I want to know, do you ever feel emotionally hungover (not from alcohol!)? How do you deal with it? And how bad is it?

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3 thoughts on “Update? Emotionally hungover!

  1. I’m sad you are passing this. I’ve had my depression times. Like everything I made was pointless… I got to the point I don’t wanted to start something new, because I couldn’t bear my own feelings. I think my case was oposite from yours. I really hope you get better. And it isn’t that bad to expend time in what you love, but keep care of your health is more importante. Best wishes! Also, I’m here If you need to talk.

    Liked by 1 person

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